Buckminster Fuller

Everything you've learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe.

buddha

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.  Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.  Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.  Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.  Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.  But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. 

Herbert Butterfield

But the greatest menace to our civilization today is the conflict between giant organized systems of self-righteousness -- each system only too delighted to find that the other is wicked -- each only too glad that the sins give it the pretext for still deeper hatred and animosity.

Tom Robbins

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.

George Santayana

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

Napoleon Bonaparte

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Edward Gibbon

History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind.

George Bernard Shaw

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.

After all, science is essentially international, and it is only through lack of the historical sense that national qualities have been attributed to it.

e e cummings

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.

Benjamin Disraeli

I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude.

Khalil Gibran

All receivers - assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.  Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings; For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.

Henry Ward Beecher

The meanest, most contemptible kind of praise is that which first speaks well of a man, and then qualifies it with but.

George Bernard Shaw

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

Friedrich Nietzche

One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

Proverb

You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.

Jenny de Vries

You own a dog but you feed a cat. 

George Mikes

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals. 

Charles Dickens

What greater gift than the love of a cat? 

Stephen Baker

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction - and a cat.  The last ingredient is usually hardest to come by.

Sigmund Freud

Time spent with cats is never wasted.

Wesley Bates

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. 

Dan Greenberg

There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. 

author unknown

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

Albert Schweitzer

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

Tay Hohoff

There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat. 

John Russell

Sanity Calms,  but madness is more interesting.

Jane Wagner

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

Albert Einstein

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Robin Williams

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Douglas Adams

Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know.  Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know.  Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about.  Amen. 

Colin Sautar

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. 

Douglas Adams

It's an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem.

Joseph Conrad

It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate waiting them on this earth.

John Kenneth Galbraith

It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled seas of thought. 

Oscar Wilde

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Lizzie West

If you don't create your reality, your reality will create you.

Mario Andretti

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

Dr. Suess

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.

Author Unknown*

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

George Santayana

Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds. 

This weeks theme is Chaos

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.

Oscar Wilde

Looking good and dressing well is a necessity. Having a purpose in life is not.

Author Unknown*

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose.

Oscar Wilde

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

P.G. Wodehouse

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

Author Unknown*

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second‑best policy.

Author Unknown*

Be naughty ‑ save Santa the trip

This weeks theme is Life Lessons

H.L. Menken

The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office.

Will Rogers

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

Douglas Adams

Presidents don't have power, their purpose is to draw attention away from it.

Will Rogers

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

Jay Leno

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

George Bernard Shaw

If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.

H.L. Menken

I  confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.

Mark Twain

Don't tell my mother I'm in politics: she thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse.

H.L. Menken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

George Bernard Shaw

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

This weeks theme is Government

Author Unknown*

They're sure housework won't kill you, but why take the risk?


*If you know the origin of this quote, please let me know.

Erma Bombeck

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you?

Dave Barry

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up.  The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now.  They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything.

Quentin Crisp

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

Erma Bombeck

My second favorite household chore is ironing.  My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. 

Author Unknown*

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.


*If you know the origin of this quote, please let me know.

Weekly Theme

This weeks theme will be Housework.

Roseanne Barr

I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on. 

Douglas Adams

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

Mary Chase

I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
Mary Chase, Jimmy Stewart in "Harvey", 1950

Liza Minnelli

Reality is something you rise above.

Scott Adams

The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.

Robin Williams

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

Weekly Theme

This weeks theme will be chaos. 

Jane Wagner

What is reality anyway!  It's nothing but a collective hunch.

Bruce Cockburn

The trouble with normal is it always gets worse.

Author Unknown*

When your IQ reaches 50, you should sell. 


*If you know the origin of this quote, please let me know.

Author Unknown*

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.

*If you know the origin of this quote, please let me know.
*

Author Unknown*

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

*If you know the origin of this quote, please let me know.

Maxine

Well aren't you just the most adorable black hole of need.

Carson Kressley

We sold your children to pay for the furniture. I think you'll find it's a better investment in the long run.

Author Unknown*

Apparently you have delusions of adequacy.

If you know the origin of this quote, please let me know.

Weekly Theme

Our theme this week will be insults...As you will see. 
Enjoy.

Aesop

What a splendid head, yet no brain.

Author Unknown*

This isn’t burger king, you can’t have it your way.



*If you know the origin of this quote, please let me know.

Douglas Adams

Very deep. You should send that into Reader's Digest, they've got a page for people like you.

Mignon McLaughlin

Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.

Woody Allen

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.

Woody Allen

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Douglas Adams

Don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.

Thursday Insult

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?

John Hardwick

Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison. 

Joan Rivers

Don't cook.  Don't clean.  No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum... "My God, the floor's immaculate.  Lie down, you hot bitch." 

Josephine Hart

Damaged people are dangerous.  They know they can survive.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everything in the universe goes by indirection. There are no straight lines.

Raymond Lindquist

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. 

Lizzie West

If you don't create your reality, your reality will create you.

George Pierce - Thursday Insults

Correct me if I am wrong, but has the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer?

Josephine Hart

Damaged people are dangerous.  They know they can survive.

Nick Law

Creativity is a habit. It’s not something the happens in the shower.

Frederick Nietzsche

Convictions are more dangerous foes that lies.

Runi

Conventional opinion is the ruin of our souls.

Sir Winston Churchill

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.

Marcus Antonius

Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.

The Doctor, Star Trek Voyager - thursday Insult

Between impulse and action, there is a realm of good taste begging for your acquaintance.

Alan Alda

Begin challenging your own assumptions.  Your assumptions are your windows on the world.  Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.

Pablo Picasso

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

Rumi

Beyond right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there.

Ogden Nash

Candy is dandy,But liquor is quicker.

Dalai Lama

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

Helen Keller

I long to accomplish a great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker.

E.B. White

Be obscure clearly.

Douglas Adams Thursday Insults

Are you wearing my underwear? 'Cause I'm wearing yours, and they're not doing the trick.

Ellen Perry Berkeley

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

Twyla Tharp

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.

Maya Angelou

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.

Heywood Brown

Appeasers believe that if you keep throwing steak at the tiger,  the tiger will become a vegetarian.

Kurt Vonnegut

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Paul Corey

Any conditioned cat-hater can be won over by any cat who chooses to make the effort.

H.L. Menken

An idealist is one who on noticing that roses smell better than cabbage concludes that it will also make better soup. 

Thursday Insults

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. - author unknown

Oscar Wilde

Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.

buddha

Ambition and anger will disappear when you stop concerning yourself with the fruit of your actions.

Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Eric Hoffer

Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power.

Erich Heller

Be careful how you interpret the world:  It is like that.

Plato

Attention to health is life greatest hindrance.

Aristotle

All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.

Quentin Crisp

Abatement in the hostility of one's enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat.

Dennis Miller

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty‑five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
-Dennis Miller

John A. Shedd

A ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for.
-John A. Shedd

Herm Albright

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
-Herm Albright

Oscar Wilde

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
- Oscar Wilde

Wendy Kaminer

A liberal is a conservative who's been arrested.  A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.
Wendy Kaminer

Author Unknown*

A penny saved is ridiculous.

*If you have some information on the author of the quote please let me know.

George Bernard Shaw

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing.
-George Bernard Shaw

Thursday Insults

A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
Attributed to a 'bad employee review'

Colette

A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts.
-Colette

Lao Tzu

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.
-Lao Tzu

Ralph Waldo Emerson

A foolish consistency  is the hobgoblin of small minds. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oscar Wilde

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.

Frederick Nietzsche

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Author Unknown*

A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn.

*Please let me know if you know source of this quote.

Thursday Insults

100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?

Author Unknown

Tony Piro

Become an artist.  Why solve your problems when you can use them as raw material.

H.L. Menken

..the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom respectable. No virtuous man‑‑that is, virtuous in the Y.M.C.A. sense‑‑has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading...

Constantine P Cavafy

...Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you're destined for.
But don't hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you're old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you've gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.
Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you wouldn't have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now
And if you find her poor, Ithaka won't have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you'll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

Alan Cohen

...in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

  -Alan Cohen

Douglas Adams

"We apologise for the inconvenience." 

God's Final Message to His Creation    

Douglas Adams