Douglas Adams

It's an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem.

Joseph Conrad

It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate waiting them on this earth.

John Kenneth Galbraith

It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled seas of thought. 

Oscar Wilde

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Lizzie West

If you don't create your reality, your reality will create you.

Mario Andretti

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

Dr. Suess

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.

Author Unknown*

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

George Santayana

Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds. 

This weeks theme is Chaos

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.

Oscar Wilde

Looking good and dressing well is a necessity. Having a purpose in life is not.

Author Unknown*

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose.

Oscar Wilde

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

P.G. Wodehouse

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

Author Unknown*

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second‑best policy.

Author Unknown*

Be naughty ‑ save Santa the trip

This weeks theme is Life Lessons

H.L. Menken

The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office.

Will Rogers

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

Douglas Adams

Presidents don't have power, their purpose is to draw attention away from it.

Will Rogers

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

Jay Leno

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

George Bernard Shaw

If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.

H.L. Menken

I  confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.

Mark Twain

Don't tell my mother I'm in politics: she thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse.

H.L. Menken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

George Bernard Shaw

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

This weeks theme is Government

Author Unknown*

They're sure housework won't kill you, but why take the risk?


*If you know the origin of this quote, please let me know.

Erma Bombeck

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you?

Dave Barry

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up.  The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now.  They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything.

Quentin Crisp

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

Erma Bombeck

My second favorite household chore is ironing.  My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. 

Author Unknown*

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.


*If you know the origin of this quote, please let me know.

Weekly Theme

This weeks theme will be Housework.

Roseanne Barr

I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on. 

Douglas Adams

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

Mary Chase

I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
Mary Chase, Jimmy Stewart in "Harvey", 1950